How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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i committed murder

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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