roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Why Did The Boy Fall Off The Swing? Because He Had No Arms.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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Why so serious ?

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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