Knock Knock Who's There Me

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(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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swag

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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WILLY

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops