What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

Obama

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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