What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

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PIED NINNY!

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Chris Bosh's neck

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Lets Go Lakers!

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops