I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

thumb_up thumb_down -15

This is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best part about having sex with a 9 year old in the shower? Pedophilia is a crime, and the people that do it are very sick individuals. The fact that you even thought there was a 'best' part disgusts me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Women's Professional _________

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops