A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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Jews

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Women's rights

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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What does a homeless man get for Valentines Day? Divorce papers

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why did the baby boy start crying? He got hit with a toaster

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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