Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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