A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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