An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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