whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

thumb_up thumb_down +56

why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops