Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops