What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

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Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops