how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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