An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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France had one revolution

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Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Penis chickens

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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