A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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haha

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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