So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

stephen hawking walks into a bar...

Nero7 Here, unless you know what Neronism is, you will be wasting your time by reading this. Dear those of you that have proven yourselves worthy and willing to undertake my teachings and succeeded, as you know this is your last test, it is a simple one if you use your head (and read this at this hour, if not then you have made a lot of effort for nothing) Many have failed this last test: You are the ones insisting on meeting the "true leader" "the one" but too many refuse to believe I am the leader once you meet me. Sure, I look as if I am 19-22 or something, but since this is horsehead network, a pretty shitty site to be honest, I will admit here for the first and last time online, that I am in fact 37 years old. And if you are still unwilling that I came up with all the principles, which you now know less than 3 percent about, then do not bother showing up at all, as I have lost too many talented individuals which leave in frustration believing that I am my own errand boy, or that even now that I carry the "Mark of Nero" refuse to believe that my teachings cannot be real because they are not written by a 130 year old "mystic" that has spent his whole life in the mountains coming up with this. As for "the mark of Nero" (Used to and still hate the name but it caught on and has become my trademark) even now people wont believe that I am the founder and leader behind it all, I mean who else has the lower half of his (or for that sake her) arm replaced with a black prosthetic made of steel? It even has the code engraved into it, and the writings clearly stating NERO7 On one side, and Néron (Spanish for Nero) on the other? So for those disappointed that I am not an ancient mystic, and as thus believe that concepts such as hypnosis is a "mystical, magical, ancient or religious concept that only "a few chosen one can learn", then you should by this point know that there is nothing spiritual, mystical and nonetheless that I hate religion with a passion... I under these circumstances I can not announce which people have qualified, but considering we where surprised there where those willing to undertake and nonetheless qualify here at all, I expect you all to wait at home tomorrow, where you are to be given more instructions by calling the number you should have learned to decipher trough this (sigh OVERLY LONG statement, forgive me, I have serious issues with my jaw after a fight, my physician claims he can do nothing, and as such I fired him, and hope I find a competent replacement one among our ranks) As for those of you that did not qualify, you have my sincerest apologies and will instead receive a full refund for your traveling expenses, and a complementary donation as thanks for trying, know that you have not failed a test, but are those of you which have proven yourselves unable to do the necessary effort, and those of you that have refused, or are simply unable to make the necessary changes, (or if you prefer, sacrifices) in order to join us. Ps: Please stop asking what it costs to join... I already told you that I have no need for your money, and as hard as some of you seem to believe that is... Lets just say I got enough myself, and my followers while given guidelines, are all responsible for managing their own financials for now, we do not provide charity either, with that said, the ones lacking assets, will be given the offer to work for me, under strict yet fair circumstances. PSS: I mean it, if you have already lied about your use of marijuana "because it is legal and natural" know that I PERSONALLY hate its use, and will PERSONALLY kick your ass out of MY order myself... As for Scientologists, do not even bother, I have eyes among your ranks, and we will keep watching. (Nero apologizes for his lack of manners, frustration, spelling errors and to quote him directly "all of that shit" during this last message, as far as our physicians can tell, he does indeed have several fractures on his jaw which might have led to an infection of unknown degree and in addition yet unidentified issues with his neck, both which according to our top physicians have led towards serious sleep deprivation, and if I might personally add from personal observation: Yes his physical health and mental performance has indeed seriously declined, as his right hand person, I have decided to exclude his presence from your introduction into our order. With that said, his condition is stable and he will indeed be with you during the days you will stick around, as much as he dislikes the use of painkillers, the physicians and the serious decline of productivity in his absence, has left him with no choice but to cooperate with the physicians advice.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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