Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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A blind man watches TV

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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