How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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What is funnier than 24 69

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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