what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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