What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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baloney sandwich

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What does? 42

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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