What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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