Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Turkey Balls

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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