what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

Rebecca Black

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

How long is a china man?

whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...