This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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you give like i give lomain

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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penis. nuff said.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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