Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...