jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops