what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

What city likes baseball the most? New York

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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