knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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