Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

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are u black unlucky

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Black people

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24

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops