why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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haha

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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