What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats bloop with an m? matthew

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

thumb_up thumb_down -17

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops