How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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