A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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my throat Really started to hurt, like reallly badly, and i remember On sponge bob, he laughed so much his laugh box broke. well, my throat really hurts. please help! can i get my laugh box back? will i never be able to laugh again and have to get it replaced like squidward did?!!? please answer, i have a friend who would probably give me part of her laugh box, but she Laughs like a hyena

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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http://www.google.com/webhp?doodle=6201726X-hA7spmZ-pmZnpnn__-ynJTMzfAAADUAAAcaZmb9sN8GZmGIzMz9UzM3OmZm2n7__6430pmZuSZmZm___y1yGQYhiElhkGQZBkGYZBiGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGITCGQZBkE4hkGQZRkGIUSGIYhkEEhkGUXiGIXkGIXkGIXkGQXiGQXkGQXiGIZhiGIRiGEZhmE5hhGUViGQYRklohkFohkFpBiFpBkFpBkGQYhmEEhmGQYhJIYhlFkhkGQZFg&hl=en&nord=1 For alien signals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops