Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Why did the basketball team from Detroit win the youth championship? Because they had a good coach amd dedicated, hard-working players.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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