It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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su algato es en fuego

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops