Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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