Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hail Heetluh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops