Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

women's rights

How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

haha

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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