My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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