slaughter the mussies #EDL

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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hey guys im gay

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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