WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Someone born in the 1970s feeling self-righteous about defending the victims.

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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