A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Anyone can post anything.

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

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What is worse than being unemployed? Terminal Cancer

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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