yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Thats what she said

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops