My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

willam dafoe

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

thumb_up thumb_down +16

people on this site vote for anti-jokes that make them laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your skull would make a nice pen holder

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops