Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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Your mom went to college

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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Hey

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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