What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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anti-joke.com

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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