What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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AIDS.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops