what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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woman's rights

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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