How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Guest what? Dog

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops