a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gays house! knock knock who's there? The chicken!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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black people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops