What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

every knight i see an owl at window

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

thumb_up thumb_down -4

It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops