A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops