What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I am a mime

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops