What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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